Oh the joys of travel season!

I made my way to the Phoenix consolidated rental car station this morning with plenty of time to spare. Dropped off the lovely Saturn Aura that had kept me in good company all week, and then I was dragging my things to the elevator to find the shuttle to my terminal. My luggage consists of my normal sized suitcase with like, clothes, shoes, bathroom stuff, etc. My small suitcase, which is carry on size and full of work stuff--publications that I sent out here and never used and so am dragging back--that little bitch is heavy. I also have my laptop in its bag, and my purse. Not extreme--just enough. I've done the double bag, laptop, purse gig before and it's never been a problem. I've got a little strap thing that hooks the two suitcases together, and so I only have to use one hand to carry them both--life is good.

So, when I get to the line for my shuttle, I can't figure out why the hell my bags seem so heavy and I am already sweating.

A nice man helped me with the bags the rest of the way--the threw them on the bus for me and I settled in for the 10 minute ride to the terminal. Get off the bus, rig the bags up, and drag them across the street--again, way too heavy to even make this work. So I unhook them, balance my laptop on one, purse on the other and I am off to find my ticket counter.

I look back to see where I am at one point and notice that my bag is leaving a weird like streak on the carpet near the counters. Wtf? Whatever, I don't have time to investigate, I just want to get my tickets and get these F*&^ing bags out of my possession for the next 8 hours.

I go to the lovely self check in that American Airlines offers, pay an extra 40 dollars to check these two bags, and then have to drag them once more to the security line to drop them off. After she tags the big bag, I get to looking at it. I then realize what the problem has been all morning.

It's one of those bags that has the wheels that do the 360 turn so you can pull it whatever direction you want. Well, apparently, when I hooked the little bag up to it and started pulling, the wheels didn't want to turn.

The.bitching.wheels.rubbed.themselves.flat, and then on top of it all, started.falling.apart. I touched one of them--so hot from all the effing friction they created that I nearly burned my fingers off. So, here I am with this bag that has wheels that aren't even round, and have chunks falling off of them. To make this even worse, this is the 3rd flight/trip I've ever taken with said bag--it's basically brand new.

Whatever.

TSA dude, please take this bag from me before I beat the shit out of it and cause a major scene. Thank you.

Everybody's doing it!

I was really excited to see that Amanda at I Could Be Ordinary tagged me in her most recent post, and then I had to realize that I had to actually think about all of these things!! Thanks for the tag, girl!


A. Attached or Single? Singleton!

B. Best Friend? I have been blessed with lots of fantastic people in my life! They know who they are!

C. Cake or pie? Cake. For sure. Yellow with chocolate frosting.

D. Day of choice? Saturday. When it's not my day to work. Sleep in. Be lazy. I love Saturdays. Sundays are a close close second.

E. Essential item? My computer--namely for internet/email purposes, and good music.

F. Favorite color? Green

G. Gummy bears or worms? Bears

H. Hometown? Spencer! Go Tigers!

I. Favorite indulgence? Red, red wine.

J. January or July? July. July is a good month. And it's warm. And perfect for grilling, being in the sun, and drinking beer.

K. Kids? No, I don't have any. And I don't want any for a long time. Although, I love other people's kids. And babies are adorable. I'm not a hater, I just am not ready for them! Scary!

L. Life isn’t complete without? Nail polish.

M. Marriage date? Ha! Marriage schmarriage!

N. Number of brothers and sisters? 2: Autumn (26) and Christy (18)

O. Oranges or Apples? Both

P. Phobias? Spiders. Warm milk. Oversleeping.

Q. Quotes?I have lots of favorites--but my current favorite right now is: "Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind." (Thanks Kara!)

R. Reasons to smile? I like smiling. Smiling's my favorite. Um...having hilarious conversations with fun people. Little Emerson. Good blogs by my blog-friends. Text messages. Cute boys. My really awesome friends (wine days/nights, SATC extravaganzas, driving aimlessly on gravel roads, really long pointless conversations), I just love them.

S. Season of choice? I go back and forth here. I mean, I love all seasons for different reasons. I wish they changed monthly instead of like, tri-monthly. It would be better then--you wouldn't really be able to get sick of them! I love flip flops in the summer, sweatshirts in the fall, snow in the winter, and raincoats in the spring!

T. Tag 5 people: Bayjb, Beth, Kara, E, Auburn Kat!

U. Unknown fact about me? Um...I often gag when brushing my teeth. My feet are NEVER still, and they're always hot.

V. Vegetable? Corn. No contest.

W. Worst habit? Flirting. With the wrong boys.

X. X-ray or Ultrasound? Niether.

Y. Your favorite food? Mashed potatoes. Soup. Corn. Bread. Pasta. Olive Garden Salad. Wine. Beer.

Z. Zodiac sign? Aries.

Phoenix, oh Phoenix

I'm debating getting showered and going shopping or heading straight back into bed. Phoenix is great. I made it here safe and sound--a bit more turbulence than usual, and about an hour behind schedule, but I was just glad to get here!! The scenery is a cool change from lush Iowa...it's definitely brown here. But hey, how often do you get to do your work while laying by the pool as a lizard scurries around next to you? I got a little too much sun yesterday, so the pool is out for today. It's off to Tucson tonight!

When I got in on Saturday, I got like the last car in the Enterprise lot. It was a really ugly car. I get excited about rental cars. I think it's fun to drive different cars that don't actually belong to you--it's like a really long test drive. Am I the only one who feels this way?? Anyway, I was very depressed when they told me that was the one. I looked at Mr. Enterprise in disbelief. He said, well, I do have a Ford F150 you could drive if you want that instead? Yeah right. As if this girl is going to be gallivanting around Phoenix in a big ole' Ford? So I took the really ugly Kia. It was like a midget mini-van. Thankfully, the alignment was off or something because the darned thing shook like crazy going down the interstate. I took it back the next morning and graciously accepted a brand new Saturn Aura--it's MUCH better.

So, My Sister's Keeper is incredibly sad. But I thought it was a good book (you can borrow it when I get home, Bethy!). I loved the writing. I went to Barnes and Noble on Sunday after I finished it to by another Picoult book. I mean, I suppose it makes sense to read the most depressing books possible in a place where the sun is always shining! Thus, I purchased Nineteen Minutes--anyone? Anyone?? I'm not quite half way done with it...but I'm not liking it quite as much as I liked the other one...at least not yet!

On another note--the Hills is on. Spencer Pratt. Ewe. Enough said.

Airport, oh airport.

Here I sit in the DSM International Airport. I am Phoenix bound. I have a two hour layover in Dallas. My flight was just delayed about a half an hour. The thing is, there is a hurricane in Texas, and by 3pm they are supposed to be experiencing squalls in Dallas. My flight out of Dallas is supposed to be at 4:15. In the middle.of.a.squall. What the heck is a squall, anyway?? What do you suppose the odds of me actually getting to Dallas/Phoenix today are? Yeah, I thought so, too. This could be a long day. I hope very much that someone is going to be available to come and pick me up when all the flights are cancelled. Barf.

On another note, I still love airports. Especially with a computer. People watching is fun. There are some interesting characters in the world. And I love to see the dynamics between couples when travel plans go awry. All flights to Chicago just got postponed by like 2-3 hours. This woman just totally bit her husbands head off while they are standing in line for a gate agent to change their itinerary. As if he could change the torrential downpours they are experiencing in the windy city...

I did buy a new book this morning, though. My Sister's Keeper--Jodi Picoult. I've heard excellent reviews. I decided to give it a try...turns out I might have lots of time to read it. I'm sitting close to the counter. That's my typical modus operandi...which is because I am honestly always delayed/cancelled. She who sits closest to the counter has the best chance of hopping on another plane. Seriously. This happens to me all.the.time.

Thank god for Xanax.

AZ

It's Wednesday. I have a headache. My nose is running. It's the worst year for ragweed, like, ever. I am tired. It's been a long week--already. Most of the day at work I think about killing myself with office supplies, scissors, phone cords, and exacto knives must be kept out of my hands about passing the time productively.


Today my mind is wandering. Nothing seems to be going right. I'm feeling flustered and behind. And the only thing that keeps me from throwing in the proverbial towel and taking the rest of this bitch of a day off is the thought of Saturday.


Saturday, my friends, I depart for gloriously sunny and hot Phoenix, Arizona. The ten day forecast shows temperatures in the high 90s and lots of sun. Let's celebrate, just for a second, the outdoor swimming pool at my hotel. Seriously. Are you celebrating? Whatever. Bastards.


I'm there for a week. For work. Which means I can meet up with a couple friends in the area one night, and the rest of the week is mine. To do as I please (I mean, there will be work, too, of course). To eat. To drink. To sleep. To lay in the sun. And I can't wait. It's going to be freaking fantastic to get out of this office for a while and hop in a car or on a plane and listen to my music as loudly as I would like.....ahhhhh I love travel season. Besides, it's getting cold here wayyyyy too fast and these allergies are enough to drive the sanest of people to the looney bin.

There is a real possibility that my next post might find me typing poolside...

Are you ready...

for some football?

It feels like fall in Iowa--sleeping with the windows open and sweatpants on is perfect. The mornings are filled with a crisp, cool dampness, and the evenings cool off quickly. This weather automatically makes me think of two things: travel season, and football.

I'll be honest in saying that I am not the most avid football fan. In fact, I rarely watched it ever until my sister got married and her husband made me. I actually enjoy watching now--as long as someone tells me what the hell is going on which team we are supposed to be rooting for.

Anyway, today marks the first football game at my beloved alma mater. It's the perfect day for the first game--the sun is shining, the air is still and the temperature is just right--perfect for jeans and long-sleeved tees. The team has a brand new coaching staff and a whole new group of kids playing the game this fall, and I am so excited to see how it works out! I don't know plays. I know what the quarterback and the kicker do--everyone else just kindof blends together to me and if people start talking about like, linemen and stuff, I get really confused. I don't know what coaches do what, and I don't care! I know enough to tell who is doing well, and ultimately, who wins (which, of course, will be us!!! *knocks on wood* )!!

Enjoy the weekend!!! Happy fall.

Down, girl, down!

I think Sarah Palin is a scary woman. I don’t really think we need to get into political arguments here on the blog front so I am going to keep my issue commentary to a minimum—lets just say, she and I agree on absolutely nothing. Nothing. Honestly, I am afraid of the influence she could have--and I think she's crazy.

Someone referenced her as the long lost sister of Rush Limbaugh and Anne Coulter—I would agree! Honestly, did you watch her speech at the RNC? I hate dirty politics (what I say on my blog… not politics—I’ll rip all I want! :)), and that was what her entire speech was—what did she say…something along the lines of “the opposition said they can’t stand McCain—the truth is, they can’t stand up to McCain.” Really? Honestly? And then, trying to strike the fear of whatever deity you may believe in into all of those in attendance? Yikes. Her audience was hooting and hollering like people on that scary movie “Jesus Camp.” McChange? Seriously. Give it up people. And if you think McChange is going to work, you should probably think again…although you might get the votes of the loyal McDonalds patrons.

I feel like John McCain thought that he was going to get a VP to steal the Hillary following—a wise strategy, indeed. He should probably have picked someone a little less intensely right wing . Yikes, McCain, yikes. He’s nearly 105 years old—if he gets in office (which I find unlikely) I will either move to Canada or think about killing myself….but back to the point—if he gets in, and dies from old age (which we have to consider--I mean honestly), we are stuck with her. And that fear, my friends, is why liberals all over the world are taking Xanax in record doses.

As David Letterman said, she should probably have gone into a career which would have suited her better—as a model at Lenscrafters.

She kinda looks like Tina Fey, too, huh? Poor Tina Fey.

(*I hope her kids don't read this. I would feel really badly.)

Let the debates begin... :)

Photos

This morning, I woke up, wandered around the house, and the decided I need to go to get some pictures printed off and get a cd burned so I could create my latest blog. Pictures, dear friends, are essential to the idea.

So I drag myself to the car and through the parking lot, into the store, find the photo kiosk, sit on the stool and attempt to figure out which of the 11 slots my memory card fits into. First one is too small, and then I place it into the second one, and all of the sudden it's gone. I hear it clink around somewhere. Clearly slot number 2 is far too large.

Shit.

So I go find the guy that works there, and he has to page another guy to help. Guy number two surprises me. I am surprised this establishment lets someone so crazy handle any of their keys. He and guy number one have to look through nearly 600 keys to figure out what they are going to do.

Guy number two comes up to me and says, "Well, you know, if all else fails, I'll just do what I used to do in high school."

Me: *very blank stare*

Guy number two: "Yeah, you know, when I was younger I used to pick locks all the time."

Me: *unimpressed* "huh."

Guy number two then proceeds to find some safety pins, and I shit you not, has both of these safety pins jimmying around inside this lock trying to get it open, and he thinks he's totally bad-ass for doing so. What the hell?

Finally, guy number one finds the right key and they end up having to tear this machine apart--there are seriously pieces everywhere.

I get my memory card back--celebration! Ya! I can get on wtih my day! Not.

The irony is it wasn't even the right memory card...

And I refuse to go back to said establishment today, so you are going to have to wait until at least tomorrow for the actual post that was intended for today....Happy Long Weekend!

Bandaid.

So, I'm not a big fan of needles. At all. I dread getting bloodwork done. And typically, unless I am actually really sick, I get my blood drawn once a year--they do blood profiling at work and I succumb to that. I would donate my blood, too, if I could, but apparently when you live in Europe during mad cow disease of the late 80s and early 90s you are permanently deferred (who'd've thunk it?). So, the red cross won't take my blood...and I'm okay with that. I mean, i do feel a little guilty, because I would give it if I could, but frankly, not getting needles jabbed in my arm is okay with me.

My blood profiling for work is next week. I've been mentally preparing for it for some time now. Just getting myself all jazzed up and convincing myself it will work out just fine.

This morning I went to the doctor regarding a medication change. I thought it would be one of those quick in and out trips. The nurse came in, took my blood pressure. Left. Doctor came in, discussed changes, left. 10 minutes later he sticks his head in and declares: "I think I am going to do some blood work too, just to make sure we are on the right track."

Bleh. Please no.

So, blood lady comes in. I have to lie down. I can't watch. Before I know it, it was over and she patched me up with a large bandaid with a very colorful design--she forgot to put regular ones back in her caddy. I know, right?

I survived. Immediately afterwards I headed to the local gas station and filled up my 32 oz Diet Dew. There was a cute guy standing next to me filling his with some Diet Coke.

He says "Excuse me" as he sneaks by me.
I say, "No problem."
He looks down at my arm, and then he says, "Sweet Bandaid..."

Crystal Blog

Last night, dear friend Kara and I sat out on her porch with a really good bottle of red wine between us. It was the perfect weather for a porch night. The temperature was perfect, the humidity wasn’t terribly high, and the wind was non-existent. There we sat, feet up on the railing and a glass in hand—each of us with an adorable Chihuahua (that’s a hard one to spell!) in our laps. We were discussing the day, the outlook for the week, and importantly, our plans for the long weekend. We were meandering thoughts of life and love and work and happiness as we usually do. And then, she made this comment: “I wish I had a crystal ball that I could look into to see how everything turns out.”

I believe my next line was: “Actually, I’m not sure I would want to know—what if I wasn’t happy?”

And what if I wasn’t? For that brief moment in time that the ball let me see—what if I was a crumpled mess on the couch surrounded by Kleenex, wine bottles and Ben and Jerry’s with greasy hair and smudged makeup? Certainly that one moment of clarity wouldn’t be enough to make me dread my future, would it? What if I was on that couch because I had just broken up with someone I had spent several happy months/years with?…Maybe I need to see a week at a time to figure out if I would really want to know what the future holds in store for me…even then, that week could be miniscule in comparison to how I felt during that entire month. Or what if that month was one bad month in a year of happy months? What if that year was a bad year in comparison to a decade of good ones? And what if it wasn’t? What if that year was just as dreadful as the 9 that came before it? What would you have to look forward to? Wouldn’t your dreams dissipate in the now if you knew of their premature demise? What would you do for the next several years in the meantime?

How much would I actually need to see before I felt comfortable taking a glimpse my future? I am not finding it very easy to actually pick a set amount of time—a time I would be comfortable seeing...it’s a scary thought, isn’t it? Would you look?

I think, over all, I’ll just hold tightly to my hope and when the long grey-haired red and purple clad jingling gypsy woman walks by offering that glimpse, I’ll save my ten bucks…