Would any of you continue to date a guy who takes you out on Saturday night, and then on Sunday night writes about loving slash missing slash being incomplete w/o his ex gf and then posts it online for the entire world to see ?
I feel like that is a huge neon sign that says 'not ready for a new relationship,' but maybe I am being dramatic. Thoughts please...
***Kyla reminded me of an interesting point. I did ask him about it and immediately he was defensive and mad telling me he is not completely over her but did not know if he would get back w/ her if she asked. He thought I was ridiculous for caring about it. At dinner Saturday he also made clear that he never actually wanted to break up with her. The message he wrote all in all was very raw--its obvious he still cares for slash loves her and I don't know if that's something I risk messing around with.
I am all for giving things a chance in most cases but this seems like I could be setting myself and my small little heart up for disaster...??
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16 comments:
Trust your instincts...
That doesn't mean you shouldn't go out with him again if you had a good time, but that neon sign is not at all imaginary.
I would talk to him about it, let him know that it threw you for a loop and gauge his response.
If you pretend it didn’t happen that sounds like it could confuse things, and if you had any fun at all then you’ll be being a good friend by talking to him about what he’s going through.
I'm going to build on what Kyla said. Gauge his response. I think that's the biggest deal breaker here.
But, I mean really, it's YOU'RE call. I'm sorry to beat a dead horse, but the grammar mistakes really hinder the poetic genius!
This is so hard...
I want to tell you to walk away, but personally I'm a masochist so I'm sure I would stick around until he ripped my heart out. Ugh. I do not want that for you!
I'm trying not to be pessimistic, but I just don't feel like you feel like he's ready!
I don't think you're being irrational. I'd be careful. Boys who haven't moved on, in my experience, are generally bad ideas.
Maybe just feel it out. Give him another chance, but keep your eyes open for any warning signs.
It's worth a conversation but trusting your instincts is very wise here.
RED FLASHING LIGHT! Back away from the Man-Wreck!!
I agree with Beth. You know what you are getting here. DO NOT go out with this boy again. I can't believe that he did that. Oh no, you do not need this in your life. If he isn't over her, you get the hell out because YOU are going to be the one that gets hurt. You do not need the drama from that in your life. And he got pissy about it? You gotta be freaking kidding me....he's not over her and you don't need any part of that.
Ahhh that is a red flag. I would definitely talk to him about it and I wouldn't say it's a deal breaker but that warrants a serious conversation.
Note: Hope you had a good day in Chi-town!
My thoughts are...
I'd say, "Sorry bub...
but I think this is
as far as this thing
we've got going on is
going to go."
Mmmm. I'm way too
jealous to let something
like this slide.
WAY TOO. I wish I
wasn't, but it's the truth.
Listen to yourself.
You're the best judge in
this situation.
Good Luck, Jamie my
puddin' pop!
Yes - trust your instincts. If it doesn't seem right and it seems like he is still into his ex - then he probably is and the timing is just wrong.
Good luck and I hope it works out for you!
Kellan
I'm with accidentally me on this one. Instincts are important and it sounds like you've got some on this guy that you should listen to.
uh...you had another new boy? details, please.
I've never commented on here before, but I have read for a while. Pay attention to that neon sign! I've found that when I've ignored the sign, nothing good ever comes out of it!
I'm new to your blog- thanks for my comment! I gotta say I'm with the group on this one... trust your instincts. It sounds like he isn't ready to see other people or give his heart away. We all deserve someone who is.
Wow - seeing your edit that's a red flag, especially if he mentioned getting back together with her without being asked specifically and directly about that.
When I met my husband, he was in that situation (not so easily agitated though) and things with us worked out, no drama at all. We were always open about it though, he talked to me when she e-mailed him and I gave him advice that I would give a friend I cared about.
Sometimes that went against what I wanted, but I said it and then would always say "BUT YOU KNOW THERE'S THIS OTHER GIRL WHO REALLY LIKES YOU AND I'VE HEARD SHE'S KIND OF CUTE SO THERE'S THAT TOO". He never ended up reconciling with her, and was always very cool about it and here we are!
I think there's something to be said for helping people, just in general, at least to help them set out in the right direction. But be careful, if you're really wholly invested in one outcome of their decision it's not really helping. At the point above described in my relationship we weren't too seriously involved and I made a mental note to keep it that way until he decided more lest my heart be thrown a hand grenade.
If the fall out could hurt you I would treat him like a friend with amazing potential until he makes his choice, but he doesn't get the boyfriend treatment until then.
At the same time, I'm really bossy. lol
Hope it's going okay! = )
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